OCTOBER,1946 315 Franco.ThePetaingovernmentlatertookcontrolofthecamp, transformingitintoaConcentrationCampfor10,000Jews broughttherefromGermany.IremainedthereuntilOctober 1941.Atthistime,anazicommissionhadregularaccessto ourcamp,inspiteofthefactthatGurswassituatedinthe "FreeZone"thennotyetoccupiedbytheGermans.This commsisoinbegantosendSpanishandGermaninterneesto workasprisonersinthefortificationsalongsidetheAtlantjc Coast,wheretheyhadtodigwithoutcoverunderthecon- stantbombingandwerekiledorwoundedatarateof60%. Ithereforepreferedtheriskoflettingmyselfbetransfered fromGerman-ruledFrancetoGermany.(MyGermannaturalizationfrom1932wasconsideredbytheGermansasbeing stillvalid,asIhadofcoursenotdivulgedtothemthefactof myoficialrenunciationofthisnewlyacquiredcitizenship.) Besides,itwasmyopinionthattheparticularsituationofthe war(theGermanswerebadlyinneedofhands)createdfav- ourableconditionsforapoliticalemigreetoatempttogo backtoGermanyandfightthenazifrom inside, evenif it wereonlybytalkingtopeopleandconveyingpoliticalinformationtothem.MysubsequentexperienceinGermany provedthatthisformofindividualandunorganizedundergroundworkwaspossibleanduseful,atleastasfarasupper- classintelectualsandfactoryworkerswereconcernedthe petits-bourgeoiswerepoliticalyunapproachable. Incidentaly:Ifoundnotraceofanyorganizedunderground workinBerlin.Althoughthenightswithtotalblackoutanda moonlessandstarlessskyandabsolutelynobodyinthestreets oferedlotsofopportunities,Ineverdiscoveredonthewals orontheLitfan-Saulenawordofprotestoranoppositional politicalslogan.OnlyonceIsawatPotsdamonthedustyoutsideofanelectricrailwaycaranexpressionofdiscontent:its authormusthavebeenoneoftheFrenchprisonersorforcedlabor-civiliansemployedatthestation;itread: "Merde!" and didmealotofgood.Sabotageactswerecommitted,butas farasIaminformedonlybyforeignersand(forquitedif- ferentreasons)afterStalingrad,bypeopleinleadingandmilitaryeconomicpositionswhowererealizingthattheyhadbet onthewronghorse.Theonlyattemptoforganizedleftist undergroundwork Iheardofwasundertakenin1944by Communistsandwasperfectlyridiculous:theycamouflageda politicalgroupasasportingclubandstartedcolectingfunds; theincomingmoneywascarefulynotedonlistswithfull namesofthedonors.Ofcourse,everybodygotcaught.Then therewastheundergroundworkorganizedinsidetheparty bydiscontentednazis.Thisisaveryinterestingandveryim- portantproblemofwhichIknowtoolittle.Catholicand Protestantundergroundworkexistedtoo. WhenthenazisbroughtmebacktoGermanyinDecember, 1941,Iwasatfirstassignedtoasecretarialjobwithanaluminumexpert.Thisworkwastoocloselyconnectedwiththe warproductionwhichIdidnotwanttoserve.Imanagedto gettransferedtoaperfectlyneutraloccupationinalawyer's officespecializingindivorcesandinsuranceclaims.ThereI hadalotofinterestingpsychologicandeconomicinsights.For instanceIwasdeeplyimpressedbythemanypersonalleters inmydossiers(nevermeanttobereadbyathirdperson) whereyoucouldtracetheinfluenceofnazipropagandain everyline,eveniftheywerewrittenbynon-nazis.Buthere tooIamspeakingofthatlowermiddleclasswhoseadherence oracquiescencewasHitler'smostdurablesupport. DuringtheseyearsinGermanyIhad,ofcourse,tosubmit tofrequentquestioningbytheGestapoandtheSieherheitsdienstandtotheusualshadowingandrestrictionofmove- mentimposeduponsuspectpersonshavinglivedabroadduring bietéegeerlÔnf!3igfritiòtothefactthatatPotsdam whereIhadtakenlodgingsacertaintensionexistedbetween mostGestapooficersandthenaziparty;theGestapoofficers triedtoshield"their"casesagainsttheinterferenceofparty organs.Thistensionhadcomplexreasons.Hereisoneofthem: ThebigandmostimportantfactorinPotsdamwasstillthe oldPrussianmilitaryaristocracywhich,thoughcolaborating withthenazisandsharingtheirimperialistictendencies,still wrinkleditsnoseatthemandpretendedtocondemntheir methods,particularlyininner-GermanandJewishquestions. UptoJuly,1944,Himmlertriedtoavoidhurtingthesepeople'sfeelings.Sohehadonlypickedoficersappointedtothe GestapoatPotsdam,whichconsequentlywasnotquitetrue totype.Thatiswhy,thoughworkinginBerlinIstayedall thetimeatPotsdamataveryexpensiveandexclusiveboardinghousepatronizedby"thecremeofthearistocracy."Some ofthesepeoplerealywentoutoftheirwaytoprovethat theydidnotmindmybeingahalf-Jew.Thankstothisspecial atmosphereatPotsdam,Ievengotfrèedfromthedangerous factoryworkIwasassignedtoinDecemberlast. ItisapityIwassuchapoliticalsucklingwhenwelastmet —somethinglikeagreyhaired enfant-arriéré enpolitique.It isnowthatIwouldliketomeetyouandaskyoualotofquestions,as,forexample,whytheleftistmovementshadindulged insuchacriminalneglectofmaspsychology.Isitallbecause Marxhadnothadsufficienttimeleftafterhiseconomicre- searchestoputdownhisviewsconcerningthesuper-structure (howdoyousayUberbau?)?Oneaspect,ofthequestion, notthemostimportant,butstillimportantenough,hastodo withtheroleoftheJewsandwiththeirinabilitytofeeltheir waythroughtheratherdarklabyrinthof the"German soul".. . WarmestRegards, G. N. SEPTEMBER18, 1945 DeI at rsPe . m: saneternitysincewelastwrotetoeachother.And whatatimeitwasthatlaybetween.ButAnniandIcame througheverything.Asifbymiracle,onewouldsay,butrealy onlybysheeraccident.450air-raidsaresomethingandBer- linlooksit,too.However,wewerelucky;ourplacestill standsevenifmuchdemolished.Weareverypoorofcourse, butthenasuitofclothesisenough. DuringthestruggleforBerlinwespenttwoweeksinthe basement.Theartileryfirewaschild'splaycomparedwiththe bombings.Stillmanypeopledied.Theyweresprawledoutin thestreets,someironedflatbypassingtanks.Butone'ssensitivityhadalreadybeenlost.Thisiswarandonepaseson.No helpSispossibleanyway. OnApril29AnniandIcameveryclosetodeath.SixRus- siansenteredthebasementatnight.Theygotholdofthe womenandrapedthem.TheydidnotfindAnniatfirst.The womencriedterriblyandwehadtolistentoit.Somewhat laterthesix¡vanspointedtheirpistolsatus."Uhri,Uhri," theydemanded.Buttherewerenolongeranywatches.Other Russianshadtakenthembefore.Theystoodfourofusagainst thewal.Mrs.HeleneG.(60yearsold),Mrs.R.(70years), Anni,whomtheyhadmeanwhiledraggedfrombehindabed, andmyself. Ivancountedtothreebeforehefired.Thefirstbulethit Mrs.G.straightinthefaceandkilledheroutright.Mrs.R. wasthenexttarget.Thebulethitherinthemouth,but bleedingterriblyshekeptonlivingforawhile.Thenitwasour turn.Ivanfiredtwice,closetoourheads,butonlytoscare us.Onegoesdownlikeasackthathasbeenkicked,one'shead buzzes,surroundingsdisappearasinafog.Yet,theshocken- livensthememory:somewheretheremustbestillanolct
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